


Trust me

by The_Hawk_Eye



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Getting Together, Insecurity, M/M, Self Confidence Issues, Talking, Understanding Steve, drugged danny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-09
Updated: 2018-11-15
Packaged: 2019-08-21 01:58:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16567427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Hawk_Eye/pseuds/The_Hawk_Eye
Summary: "I've been lying for a long time... well... it's not lying exactly." He continues because apparently, a drugged Danny is a chatty one and Steve doesn't like that. "It's more of a not telling everything kind of thing, you know?"





	1. Part I

**Author's Note:**

> I started this show some days ago and I have to say that I love these two; they are perfect for each other. I haven't watched all the episodes yet (I can't find all of them in my country) but I couldn't resist the urge to write about them.
> 
> English is not my first language, so sorry for the mistakes.

"I lied." He says suddenly and for one second Steve thinks he misheard him but after some seconds he repeats the words. "I lied." Steve doesn't know what he is talking about so he waits to see if Danny wants to explain himself. "I had to lie to you, you know...?" But Steve doesn't know. He doesn't know what he's talking about.

Danny mumbles something else that he can't hear. And Steve mustn't ask about what he is talking about because Danny is not in any condition to have a normal conversation but Steve is curious now; so he has to restrain himself. It would be wrong to take advantage of Danny when he doesn't know where he is or can control what he's saying. So Steve bites his tongue and remains in silence while Danny keeps muttering things about lying to him.

"I know I shouldn't keep things from my partner but it's better this way." And Steve thinks that maybe he is not talking about him because he could be talking about any other partner, right? "I know it's wrong but you trust me, right Steve?" Well, Danny is obviously talking about him which makes Steve more nervous and he feels guilty because this is something he shouldn't be hearing. Knowing Danny as he does, Steve is sure Danny is sharing some private thoughts that are not for the public, not even him.

"Of course I trust you Danny." He says because maybe that way Danny will forget about that. "Don't worry about that." Steve adds to make him feel better.

"But I do because that's what I do... Steve... I worry too much." That is true but Steve is not going to say anything about that in a moment like this when Danny is not in complete control of what he is saying. "That's why I lied... but you understand why, right?"

"Of course I do."

"I've been lying for a long time... well... it's not lying exactly." He continues because apparently, a drugged Danny is a chatty one and Steve doesn't like that. "It's more of a not telling everything kind of thing, you know?" What if he says something private? What if he says something he doesn't really want to? Steve is not sure about how he can stop him without being rude. Danny looks really stressed right now hence Steve is sure the last thing he needs is Steve being crude and unpleasant. "I can't stop thinking about all the things that could go wrong... it's like my brain works and... and... I know... Steve, I know I promised I'd try the power of positive thinking but... I just can't..." Steve doesn't know what he is talking about, he is completely lost but he is not going to ask. "I've been hiding a lot of things from you... but that's fine... because it's the best for us."

"I'm sure it is." Steve tries to comfort him and taps his shoulder. He looks his watch, the rest should be here in any moment now to take them out of the building.

"That's why I love you Steve." It is something Danny has said multiple times but, for some reason, it sounds different now. He said it like it is a secret. Steve looks at Danny who is smiling too much. "You're too good." Danny hugs him and Steve accepts the contact and embraces him.

"Do you feel right?" He asks because he needs to change the topic. There is something Danny is doing that Steve knows is because of the drugs. "I'm sorry I couldn't stop him..."

"I feel amazing!" Danny cuts him breaking the hug. "For the first time in my life my brain is quiet." The worst part is Danny seems genuinely happy for that. "What is the worst thing that could happen now?" He asks and Steve is thinking an answer when Danny continues talking. "I don't know and I don't care!" He exclaims. "I don't care Steve! No negative shit invading my mind."

Steve doesn't know what to do. It hurts to see him like this. Danny doesn't talk a lot about this, in fact, Steve knows about his anxiety problems because a building fell over them and Danny had to talk about this. Therefore this is something Danny would never say in a normal situation. Steve is trying to find a topic innocuous enough for them when Danny starts talking again.

"It feels so liberating to be like this." His smile is too wide and it doesn't seem natural. "Is this how normal people feel all the time?" He asks and Steve doesn't know if he's expecting an answer from him.

"Be careful Danno." Steve warns him softly.

"Why should I be careful?" He stands up and Steve is afraid he will fall because the drugs have messed with Danny in every possible way. "For the first time in my life I can be me."

"Babe, this ain't you." Steve says worriedly because Danny sounds so happy right now. This is not Danny, his Danny. And Steve hates what he is hearing because it is not Danny. The drugs are talking and what worries Steve is the fact that maybe later Danny can feel like this persona is better than the real Danny.

"It is me without all that negative shit messing with me!! It's exhilarating!!" Danny moves and Steve stands up too to go after him. "I wish I could be like this forever..." Danny mumbles.

"Danny, listen to me. I'm sorry for letting..."

"Don't be sorry. Nothing happened to me. I just feel better." Danny faces him and Steve froze. This is so wrong. Steve always wanted Danny to relax and give an opportunity for positive thinking and just to be happy for one second but this is not what he was expecting. "Babe, don't worry. I feel good. I am good."

"Why don't we sit?" Steve asks.

"I am fine Steve. Maybe I scared you some minutes ago but I'm fine." Danny stops for some seconds like he is thinking about something. "I know I scared you with the lie thing." Steve moves his head. "I know I did."

"Seriously, it's fine. I trust you."

"I know you trust me babe." Danny smiles. "And I know you think I'm not in control of what I'm saying but I am." Danny puts his hand on his chest and it feels warm for some reason Steve can't understand. "It's the best for us Steve because right now I feel amazing but when the effect fades I will be the same stupid person who thinks too much and is too afraid of everything."

"That's not true." Steve replies.

"But it is." Danny doesn't sound sad. "I wish I could talk with Gracie and Charlie..." He sighs. "I'd tell them so many things I don't dare." Suddenly Danny sits again and for the first time since the drug affected him, he looks sad and defeated. Danny looks at him and Steve can feel his pain like it is physically punching him. He sits next to him and watches the time. What is taking so long? The team should be here. "I'm in a locked room and I haven't had a panic attack." Danny says and Steve realizes he's right. It is not a small room but in a normal situation Danny would have been terrified and grabbing his hand to feel safe.

Steve looks at Danny whose smile is a sad one now. Extremely happy Danny is gone now and Steve doesn't feel better about that because this is not his Danny still. He should say something but he is not sure about what. It is painfully obvious Danny is going through something thanks to the drugs but Steve doesn't know what can be the best way to act with him.

"It's wrong to keep things from my man." He starts talking again. "But I have no other option because I know if I do speak I will screw things up eventually." He continues.  
"You don't have to worry about that Danny. I..."

"You trust me." He finishes. "But that's not the thing..." Danny grabs his hand and squeezes it. "The moment I say something I will regret it because my mind will think about all the things that can go... that will go wrong and..." Danny stops and his blue eyes go around the room for some seconds before he can continue. "Tomorrow when I remember this talk I'll be mortified." He states. There is no doubt in his voice. "I will go over and over this conversation thinking about all the things I shouldn't have said."

"You haven't said anything wrong."

"I know that now but tomorrow I will be my usual mess." Danny's free hand covers Steve's hand. None of them is wearing the gloves so Steve can feel his warm touch against his skin. It feels so good. "I don't want to hide things from you because I know it could work but my brain will destroy it... I'm my own ruin."

"Don't say that." Steve frees his hands and cups with them Danny's face.

"I'm all the things that are wrong with my life."

"You're amazing Danny. Nobody's perfect and I know you can be depressingly negative sometimes but..." Steve is not sure about what to say next. "It's the way you are and there is nothing wrong with that. I love you this way."

"I love you too babe..." And Steve knows he is implying something else but Danny doesn't add anything. There is some intimacy that makes Steve shivers. Nothing has happened between them out of the ordinary but Steve can feel something different, special going on. Danny's eyes are shinning in a way that leaves Steve breathless. And for one second Steve feels the urge to kiss him but he restrains himself because this is not the moment. Danny puts his hand on his neck and rubs it carefully. "I will never do this again." Danny says, it sounds like a promise and Steve denies with his head. "Because my mind is a mess."

And something hits Steve. Revelations always happen in the most uncomfortable moments, like this one with Danny drugged and talking nonsense.  
Danny places his head on Steve's shoulder and closes his eyes. He's completely relaxed, Steve can feel his muscles loosened against his body. Danny is smiling. "I wish I could be like this forever." His hand travels to his shoulder and he squeezes his fingers making the contact more intense for several seconds. Steve wants to say something but before he can think about a good reply Danny is sleeping.

"I would hate that." He murmurs finally even though he can't hear him anymore. Steve has known for years Danny has anxiety problems but never thought it would be this serious. Danny hardly ever complains, just in extreme situations, so Steve never had the chance to realize how serious that could be. And apparently, it is really serious. He has to pay more attention to Danny and help him to deal with this problem in a healthier way because it's obvious he is struggling and there are things that need to be said between them.

Finally, the team comes and Junior apologizes for being this late. The place is a maze and they got lost sometimes before they could find them. Steve nods with a smile because he understands them. All criminals have been caught and they have all the information about the drug.

"He's going to be fine." Says Tani with a smile while the ambulance is taking Danny. "They just want to make sure he doesn't suffer from any secondary effect." Steve nods and lets them take care of him without giving them too many problems. "I thought you were gonna go with him."

"I need air." Steve sounds relaxed but he is not. He is as far as possible of calm because of what just happened in the room. He can’t explain exactly what is different in their normal interactions but something has changed because of what Danny said. That ‘I love you too babe’ has changed so many things. Now Steve understands better Danny and maybe Danny hasn’t said exactly what he is hiding but Steve has been able to read between lines. “I really need some air.”

“That hard?”

“What?”

“Is that hard to be with a drugged Danny?”

“It’s not that.” Steve doesn’t know how to explain what it was to be with Danny in such state. “It was intense but not hard.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [My Tumblr](https://the-hawk-eye-fics.tumblr.com/)


	2. Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Why are you so worried about what you could have said anyway?"
> 
> "Because... because... I like to be in control... that's... that’s why I'm asking." Danny looks around the room before he confronts him again. "People like to know what they say... It's a normal thing."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has been a bit difficult to write about Danny’s anxiety problems in a way that makes sense at time... but I tried my best.
> 
> I hope you enjoy it!

When Steve arrives to the hospital, Danny is awake and completely in control. Tani is with him next to his bed talking and joking around. He seems calm. When Steve walks in Danny looks at him with surprised. Probably he was expecting him much earlier; but he doesn't say anything about that and keep talking to Tani after waving his hand in a way to say hi to Steve.

"She's telling me that I was apologizing all the time for being a jerk most of the time." He says with a smile.

"Well... you were doing that with the team." Steve nods when Tani speaks.

"You were really cute and nice to everyone."

"I am nice always."

"Are you though?" Steve replies because he is not.

"I mean... I... I am not mean or anything... why would I apologize for?" Danny retorts.

"You have a difficult character and you know that." Steve smiles at him.

"I was just telling you how nice you were last night." Tani interrupts them before the fight starts. "Now I have to go. See you." She leaves without giving Danny any second to say something back. When they're alone Steve sits in the chair and takes Danny's hand to squeeze briefly.

"How you feeling?" He asks.

"Fine... I mean my head hurts and it's like having the worst hangover of my life... but apart from that I feel great. I just want to go home..." Danny looks tired but his voice sounds energetic and the way it is supposed to sound like. "Did I say something stupid last night?" He asks.

"Stupid like what?" Steve was expecting this question. "More stupid than usual?" He tries to joke.

"You know what I mean." However Danny is not in the mood for jokes. He looks distressed and Steve decides to take this serious enough to calm him.

"You just were chattier than normal..."

"That doesn't answer my question which makes me think I actually said something really stupid." Danny cuts him. He knows him too well and can feel Steve is trying to hide something but Steve knows Danny perfectly as well so he knows what to say in order to calm him.

"I swear you didn't say anything stupid." To Steve nothing Danny said was stupid so there is no lie in there. "You were too relaxed and carefree, that's all."

Danny doesn't look completely convinced but he doesn't ask anything else. Steve realizes then he must be exhausted. In this moment he decides it's a good moment to joke a little bit just to clear the air but Danny talks before he comes with something to say.

"So I just apologized for being a jerk... something I am not."

"Well, you are usually very negative about everything so my guess it's you are sorry for destroying everybody's dreams."

"I'm not that negative." Danny replies.

"But you are, you are... remember when we did the drill and you talked till everybody decided it was better to die than survive a nuclear bomb."

"I wasn't being negative, just realistic. Is that a crime?"

"You were being realistic?"

"I was. It's... It's not my problem you tend to be dangerously positive." They are joking but Steve can see Danny is still worried. However, he doesn't bring the topic again because he really expects Danny will leave alone and maybe forget about that.

He doesn't though because he is Danny.

"So I didn't say anything..."

"No! Danny you didn't say anything weird..." Steve tries to reassure but it's not enough. "You... You don't really remember anything about last night?" Steve tries to sound casual and he is not sure if he succeeded, but he needed to say that. If Danny doesn’t remember anything for real it will be better for him because this way he can’t worry too much about anything.

"No Steve, that's why I'm asking because I don't remember. Everything is a blur and I don't like... I... I just want to know what I said." Now Danny looks frantic and that scares Steve because this is not how things should be going. They should be joking or having one of their silly arguments about how crazy Steve is, not... not talking about this.

"You didn't say anything Danny, nothing weird... but..." Steve doesn't know what to say to calm him; Danny wants to worry about last night. Danny is decided to make a big deal of something he doesn’t even know. "Why are you so worried about what you could have said anyway?"

"Because... because... I like to be in control... that's... that’s why I'm asking." Danny looks around the room before he confronts him again. "People like to know what they say... It's a normal thing."

"What could you possibly say that I shouldn't hear Danny?" Steve asks and the moment he makes the question he regrets his words.

"Things that are private Steve. I have private thoughts that are only for myself." Danny is more nervous at any moment. "I... private thoughts, do you know what they are Steve?"

"Of course I know what they are."

"I like my private thoughts being... You know... private."

“you’re making a big deal...”

“Am I?”

“Yes! Because what could you possibly say to me that have you in this condition?” Wrong question and Steve knows it. Actually he is helping Danny to be more anxious about that.

“I... I just want to know... Normal people like to know what they say.” It is a good answer but Steve is not going to give him that. “Do you tell me everything?” Danny asks suddenly. “Can you promise me you tell me everything?”

“Of course I tell you everything. Why wouldn’t I?”

“I don’t believe you.” Danny states, he is exasperated. “People don’t say everything to their partners.”

“I do.”

“You don’t.” Danny is so sure about that Steve can’t say anything back. He is right. “There are private thoughts Steve. Things that are only for one self. You know that. I know you know that because right now...” And Steve can see the exact moment Danny has some kind of realization. "Normal people like to know what they say... to have control.... You know?" His hands are shivering. "That’s why I'm asking."

"And I've told you."

"What did you exactly tell me?"

"Do not worry about anything because you didn't say anything weird."

"The way you say that makes me think I actually said something I shouldn't." Danny knows. Of course Danny would know it after two minutes with him. He's a good detective he knows him well. "I like being in control of my own thoughts and you're taking that from me."

"I'm not taking anything from you Danny."

"Of course you are... You are... You are Steve because you're not telling me what I said." Steve can see a triumph smile in his face. “You are not sharing everything with me right now. You’re keeping something from me.”

"Because there's nothing to say."

"Do not lie to me." Steve wants to shout at Danny to say to him that there is nothing to say but in the last second he restrains himself. He breathes and tries to count to three. He wants to help Danny but he is doing all the wrong things. “Imagine right now you lost control of yourself and you say to me what you clearly are hiding from me and then you don’t remember. How would you feel about that?” It is a fair question; a good one.

“You don’t have to worry about what you said.”

You’re deflecting.” He is, but he has a good reason for that. Steve wants to talk with Danny about what he implied last night. Steve wants to tell him there is nothing wrong with his feelings and he wants to tell him he feels the same way. Steve wants to do all those things when Danny is more relaxed and in a safe space for him. Steve doesn’t want to say anything in a hospital room while Danny is having a headache and completely out of his mind because he is worrying too much about something as stupid as that conversation. “This is important to me Steve.” He says quietly with one of his hand on his head. “I want to know what I said.” He looks so tired in this exact moment. “Maybe this is not a big deal for you. Maybe you think I’m overreacting... and... and maybe I am... but that’s not the point. I need to... I know I said something I shouldn’t and that is killing me.” Steve can see that. “You weren’t here when I woke up and Tani told me you looked troubled...” Danny has known from the beginning Steve was hiding something and has been giving Steve the chance to tell him without a fight. “I know...” He sighs. “I shared something with you and I didn’t want to and that truth is troubling you, I can see that.” Danny looks more composed than he should and Steve knows he’s doing a great effort not to shout right now. “I don’t know what I said because you know how my mind works... I have too many things in there so I need to know what I told in order to fix it.”

“You don’t have to fix anything.”

“I want to because it’s the only way to have...” He chokes and Steve sees he can’t find the correct words because he doesn’t know what he has to fix, or if there is something that really needs to be fixed, or can be.

“Do you trust me Danny?”

“What does that...?”

“It’s a simple question Danny. Do you trust me?”

Yes... of course, I... I trust you.”

“So trust me on this. You don’t have to worry about anything. I want you to relax right now. I need you to relax.” He corrects himself. “When we are home, we will talk about what you said.”

“See? Why don’t you tell me now? I’m more worried than before.”

“I know how you tend to think about everything and I know you’re imagining the worst case scenario. I know that and I’m telling you you’re wrong. There is nothing to worry about.”

“Not working.” Danny is being exhausting but he is being honest and Steve appreciates that.

“Danno, I just want some privacy to talk without interruptions.” After some seconds Danny nods and Steve can breathe finally. “It’s nothing bad. I promise you didn't say anything you should be worried about."

"The fact you keep telling me that it makes me think otherwise." Danny says and Steve can understand the logic behind those words.

"Trust me Danno." Steve sees the way he sighs and there is some kind of relief in that gesture.

"Can I stay with you?" He asks.

"Of course you can stay with me. Why wouldn't you?"

Steve takes his hand with a smile. There is nothing wrong between them. Danny falls asleep after some seconds and Steve uses that time to think. How is it possible he missed something like this? He has loved Danny for years, they have been creating a future together for a long time and in the present time Steve knows Danny is the only person he would die for with no regrets. How can someone not realize the true nature of his feelings? Steve craves Danny's touch and when they are apart from too long he just goes to him because he needs him by his side.

Steve has loved Danny for years.

Steve has fantasized about him too. He finds Danny attractive and he has thought about him in an inappropriate way at lazy nights. Everything was there but Steve never actually thought about it, about the meaning of all this. But now it's impossible not to think about it. Everything makes sense and he can't understand how it is possible he never realized what was happening between them.

And of course Danny would think about that. Of course he would know what is going on and of course he would think about himself that way. Of course he would picture the worst scenario and would blame himself for that. Of course he would feel like a failure and a coward... of course. Steve should have payed more attention to him because he knows better than to let him with his own thoughts but he can fix this. Danny's brain doesn't work like it should but he knew that already, he just need to be more careful in the future and it would be good to read some of the books Danny has about that in order to help him to cope with his fears in a healthier way.

Steve squeezes Danny's hand and closes his eyes. He can fix this.

Steve has to admit that Danny is behaving nicely. He didn't ask anything else about last night during the two hours they had to stay in the hospital. And after he received with a smile the results saying he could go home since everything was fine with him and the drugs haven't messed with anything. Steve is impressed.

When they arrive home Danny doesn't say anything yet. He goes to the coach and sits in silence. He is waiting for Steve to say something first. His headache is better but he is still tired and that makes him more irritable; however, he is controlling himself really well and Steve is proud of him because of that.

Steve can see him fidgeting in the sofa and decides to go there to talk. He is not sure about what to say and how to say it, be he is sure everything is going to go well. They have that thing between them in which at the end they understand each other so Steve is not too worry about the result.

"I want to start saying you didn't..."

"If you're going to say I didn't say anything wrong save it... save it... just say what I said." Danny cuts him because he is too nervous to listen this anymore. "I will decide if it was wrong or not."

"Why are you like this?"

"Like what."

"Let me talk. Don't interrupt me and listen."

"You already said that so I don't need to waste more time in that."

"You are wasting more time because you decided to interrupt me."

"Because I'm completely out of my mind right now!" He has a point. Steve can see he is too stressed to take this like a normal person would. "So please Steve, just get to the point." He is almost begging and Steve doesn't like that.

"I want to start saying..."

"To the point Steve."

"I'm going to the point but I need you to let me talk for more than two seconds." Steve retorts. "Can you give me that?" Danny nods. "So... You were chatty yesterday. You were complaining about stuff... normal stuff... like your luck because the needle could be infected or something like that. I didn’t notice anything weird but then...” Steve is not sure about what words he can use to not make Danny nervous; more nervous. “You didn’t say anything but you were... your words sounded odd.”

“Odd?” Steve can see him trying not to explode. “What do you mean odd?”

“And suddenly you started saying...” Steve ignores him so he can continue talking. “You said you were hiding something from me. You didn't say what you were hiding...” He adds as quickly as possible. “You were really cryptic about that and I didn't ask." Steve continues. "And then you said some disgusting things..."

"I'm sorry if I said something bad about you." He looks confused and terrified, probably be wasn't expecting anything like that. "I didn't mean it." Steve feels bad for him because of course he wouldn't mean anything cruel about other people.

"It's not what you're thinking... you were talking about yourself." Steve explains and the moment he says those words Danny's expression changes and he looks angry.

"Are you telling me you couldn't say this at the hospital?" He asks. "I said some negative things about myself and you make a big deal about that?" He doesn't see the problem but Steve does and he can’t let him have those thoughts.

"Yes because I didn't anyone interrupting us." He retorts trying to remain calm. "I didn't like what you said... you were being cruel..."

"With myself so who cares? I was drugged Steve..."

"I care. I do care Danno." He cuts him before he can say anything else because he cares and he is not going to let him have those kinds of thoughts. Danny was drugged but he was honest; everything he said was true and Danny was being open about his own feelings. Therefore he was drugged but that fact doesn’t change what he said was real. "You are amazing." It is sound stupid and childish but it is true. "You are a great cop and partner." He starts without thinking because he doesn't need time to list all the good things about Danny. "You are a caring and incredible father who would do anything for his children." Steve could stop now but he doesn't want to. "You are a brave and responsible and affectionate person who cares too much for others." He could continue but Danny's face makes him stop because he seems lost. "So of course I care because I won't let you have those kinds of thoughts. I won't."

Danny opens his mouth but he is not able to say anything. Steve is sure he wants to point out something stupid but he can't. He is speechless and Steve is glad for that. And suddenly Danno looks defeated. Steve is not worried about that because now he understands better how his mind works and this is something good since this way Danny won't be able to deny his words.

"I needed to tell you this at home because I need you to understand that I won't let you have those thoughts anymore. I'm going to pay more attention and I'm going to make sure you don't devaluate yourself never again." Danny still doesn't know what to say.

"Is this all?" He asks after some seconds of rough silence. In another moment Steve would get mad at him but not this afternoon.

"No, I have something else to say."

This is it. This is the moment. Steve needs to be really careful now because he doesn't know how Danny will react. He is going to do things difficult, that is for sure.

"What you didn't say made me realize something."

"That makes zero sense." Danny grumbles.

"I could try to explain everything better for you to understand me but I know you and you won't let me finish before you start shouting nonsense." Steve is going to be clear and concise. "Danno, I love you."

Danny is breathless. Steve waits for him to say something but after one minute he is afraid he won't say anything. Danny is shocked and looks terrified; Steve doesn't like that. He was expecting him to panic but not this. Steve was expecting he would shout and scream but not this thick silence.

"Why are you telling me this?" He asks finally.

"Because of something I realized last night." He answers calmly.

"No, no, no, no..." And in that moment he realizes something. Danny looks at him like he just understands... "You don't have to do this." He says suddenly.

"What...?"

"Don't say that. Please don't say that." He repeats and Steve feels lost because he sounds like he is being crushed. "You don't have to say that."

"What don't I...?"

"Please don't." Danny cuts him. "You don't have to do this. I beg you not to do this." He is completely serious about what he is saying. Danny is thinking the worst case scenario but Steve doesn’t know what that is. "Just because I feel that way doesn't mean you have to try to fix the situation." Steve shouldn't be surprised but he is because his mind definitely doesn't work as it should. "I've been living with these feelings for years and it's fine... we... we could do like... like I never said anything."

"Danny, stop." This is going to be more difficult than he anticipated.

"Let's just forget this conversation." He continues because he can't hear him. “Forget you discovered this.” Danny is in a loop and it is not listening Steve who tries in vain to speak. Danny is not listening. Is this how his mind works all the time? He doesn’t believe Steve’s feelings are true.

“Danny, I’m not trying to fix anything. It’s how I feel.”

“Don’t say that. This is not a cheesy romantic movie.” He continues. “You don’t... don’t suddenly realize you... you... you just don’t.” He is not even capable of saying the word. “I don’t need to... I am happy the way things are between us. I’m glad... I’m glad we are friends. That’s enough and I’m glad.”

Steve goes to him but Danny doesn’t let him touch him. This is not how Steve pictured the conversation.

“Danno, listen to me.” He asks. “You know me. You know I wouldn’t say something like this just because I don’t want to hurt your feelings.” He says trying to sound calm. “I didn’t understand what I feel but this is real.” He tries to put his hand over his shoulder and this time Danny lets him. “You say all the time I’m an animal and that I tend to bottle up my feelings... you’re right.” He is kind of right about that. “I needed more time than you but they’ve been there.”

“That’s not how this works.”

“It is for me.”

“Ok.” Danny sighs. “I need you to think really careful your next words.” He is almost trembling. “This is important so think well your answer. Are you...?”

“Yes.”

“No!” He exclaims. “I need you to think first... please think first...” He closes his eyes for one second and then he fixes his gaze on Steve. “I... I love you Steve and I’m happy with how the things are between us. I really am.” He wants to make sure Steve understands there is no problem if he doesn’t feel the same. “I don’t need you to love me back to be happy being by your side but if later you realize this is a mistake...” He doesn’t finish the sentence but Steve understands the implications hiding in his words. “Are you sure?”

“Do you remember the day you told me about your retirement plan?” He asks after some seconds of silence. “I couldn’t stand the thought of losing you.” Steve continues so Danny doesn’t have time to argue with him about not thinking enough his words. “I was mad at you because I pictured our future together and then you... you wanted to open a restaurant and I didn’t see myself in your future. I... you know how poorly I reacted.”

“You compared our relationship to my failed marriage.” Danny remembers.

“See? The feelings were there I just didn’t understand them.” He points. “I’ve done things for you... I want to do things for you and with you that only make sense... I love you, for real.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes...” And the rest of his words die on Danny’s mouth. His hands are cupping his face and his touch is so delicate. Ht fingertips of his hands sink on his cheek and they travel through his skin. His caresses are so subtle and feel so warm, Steve is breathless. Of course, Danny would be this delicate. Of course, Danny would touch him like Steve is the most precious person in the world. Steve doesn’t react as fact as he would like because the kiss is so unpredictable that he is frozen for seconds. Danny’s lips are wet and unbelievable soft. When finally Steve can move, his arms go around his torso to hug him tight against his body. It feels so good. How could he have missed this?

The moment the kiss is broken, Steve knows he won’t be able to live without kissing those lips over and over again.

He is sure.

“Are you sure?” Danny repeats the question because probably he is scared Steve can regret this; because maybe this is not exactly what Steve wants.

“Yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this is all. Thanks for reading and remember comments and kudos are always welcomed :D
> 
> [My Tumblr](https://the-hawk-eye-fics.tumblr.com/)

**Author's Note:**

> I will post the second part soon. I hope you liked. Comment and kudos are welcomed :)
> 
> [My Tumblr](https://the-hawk-eye-fics.tumblr.com/)


End file.
